Percy Ranks Bill Gross Metaphors
I've just read Bill Gross' August "Investment Outlook." As usual, the managing director of PIMCO has given us a feast of metaphors. My favorites:
1. "Gilded ages come, go, and are reborn on the monsoon cloudbursts of seemingly intangible forces. . . ."
2. "Covenant-lite deals and low yields were accepted by money managers as if they were prisoners in an isolation ward looking forward to their daily gruel passed unemotionally three times a day through the cellblock window."
3. "That the golden glazed surfboards of the 21st century seem unique with their decals of "private equity" and "hedge finance" is mostly a mirage."
4. "[I]t resembles a constipated owl: absolutely nothing is moving."
5. "[E]ven those that swallow their hot dogs whole - Nathan's Famous Coney Island style - are having a serious bout of indigestion."
Gross also wants to see taxes raised on carried interest, which won't negatively affect him since, as we know, higher carried interest taxes would, like a diarrheic yak carried on monsoon clouds, drench alternative asset managers while the tin glazed bodyboards with mutual fund decals would be spared like a cheeseburger at a Chestnut-Kobayashi rematch.
Note: This post is plagiarized from my comments at Ed Cone's blog.
1. "Gilded ages come, go, and are reborn on the monsoon cloudbursts of seemingly intangible forces. . . ."
2. "Covenant-lite deals and low yields were accepted by money managers as if they were prisoners in an isolation ward looking forward to their daily gruel passed unemotionally three times a day through the cellblock window."
3. "That the golden glazed surfboards of the 21st century seem unique with their decals of "private equity" and "hedge finance" is mostly a mirage."
4. "[I]t resembles a constipated owl: absolutely nothing is moving."
5. "[E]ven those that swallow their hot dogs whole - Nathan's Famous Coney Island style - are having a serious bout of indigestion."
Gross also wants to see taxes raised on carried interest, which won't negatively affect him since, as we know, higher carried interest taxes would, like a diarrheic yak carried on monsoon clouds, drench alternative asset managers while the tin glazed bodyboards with mutual fund decals would be spared like a cheeseburger at a Chestnut-Kobayashi rematch.
Note: This post is plagiarized from my comments at Ed Cone's blog.
Beautiful.