Percy Calls for Greensboro to be Renamed Greenwich
All residents of Greensboro can agree that it would be nice to have this said of our hometown:
But first we need to change our name to Greenwich. As you know, Greensboro is named for Nathanael Greene, Revolutionary War hero and George Washington's most gifted and dependable general. Did you also know that between 1808 and 1895 that Greensboro was called Greensborough? Well, it was. It's obvious, then, that the important part of "Greensboro" is the "Green" part, and that we can continue to honor the great general by substituting "wich" for "sboro." None of the local murals, statutes or brew pubs named after General Greene would have to be changed.
Step #1: I've already collected enough signatures to put the name change on this November's ballot. All you need to do is vote in support.
Step #2: Complete the $200+ million hedge fund development project for downtown Greensboro. The project will provide plenty of office space for the first wave of hedge fund managers and the kind of retail shops and restaurants fund managers need (e.g., the kind found in Mayfair).
Step #3: Relocate the residents of Old Irving Park to New Irving Park and the residents of New Irving Park downtown to Southside or Center Pointe. Old Irving Park has the look and feel of some of the less affluent parts of Greenwich and will temporarily suffice for the initial wave of fund managers. Compare:
Typical Old Irving Park home:
Typical Greenwich home:
Let's make Greenwich, North Carolina hedge fund capital of the world!
If the hedge-fund boom has a capital, it is Greenwich, a ritzy suburb of mansions and gated estates about 30 miles fromOr this:ManhattanWinston-Salem. More than 100 hedge funds — private investment pools that cater to wealthy investors and institutions — have set up shop here in the past few years, a sign of the industry's explosive growth. Greenwich-based hedge funds collectively manage more than $100 billion, about a tenth of the total invested in hedge funds world-wide.
Of the $1.2 trillion invested in hedge funds worldwide, $120 billion (10 percent) is managed in Greenwich. The town is famous as one of the most affluent communities inWe can make it happen!New Englandthe Southeast and often ranked as one of the most affluent in the United States.
But first we need to change our name to Greenwich. As you know, Greensboro is named for Nathanael Greene, Revolutionary War hero and George Washington's most gifted and dependable general. Did you also know that between 1808 and 1895 that Greensboro was called Greensborough? Well, it was. It's obvious, then, that the important part of "Greensboro" is the "Green" part, and that we can continue to honor the great general by substituting "wich" for "sboro." None of the local murals, statutes or brew pubs named after General Greene would have to be changed.
Step #1: I've already collected enough signatures to put the name change on this November's ballot. All you need to do is vote in support.
Step #2: Complete the $200+ million hedge fund development project for downtown Greensboro. The project will provide plenty of office space for the first wave of hedge fund managers and the kind of retail shops and restaurants fund managers need (e.g., the kind found in Mayfair).
Step #3: Relocate the residents of Old Irving Park to New Irving Park and the residents of New Irving Park downtown to Southside or Center Pointe. Old Irving Park has the look and feel of some of the less affluent parts of Greenwich and will temporarily suffice for the initial wave of fund managers. Compare:
Typical Old Irving Park home:
Typical Greenwich home:
Let's make Greenwich, North Carolina hedge fund capital of the world!
Mr. Walker:
As the recognized and esteemed purveyor of all things of wealth, I was recently contacted by a chap I know from preparatory school to ascertain the validity of the preposterous claims that you have presumably purported to have prospered from precipitously.
I will for a while tolerate your futile attempts to mock my friends, colleagues, and the white shoes we adorn. As an 18th generation Greenwichian, I will not however allow you to bastardize the rich (forgive the pun) heritage that my fore fathers created by the sweat of their dedicated servants. Be advised that the sons of Greenwich, CT will fight you and your savage friends should you dare to assume the nomenclature of our fair town. Your prompt and sincere retraction will be the only acceptable solution to an otherwise unacceptable situation. Make no mistake, we have engaging our brethren at yale to force an injunction that will rival the blood spilled at Appomattox.
With Regret,
Prescott "Bob" Worthington XVIII
Well, Bob the 18th, my town was named for a Revolutionary War hero that fought a decisive battle here in Greensboro, while yours was named for a town in Kent, England. Our forbears ripped the hearts out of your Redcoat forbears and fucked their aortas. This isn't about Appomattox, it's about Yorktown.
I've been saying we need to change the name for quite sometime. I'm more in facor of "The Boro" or some buzz word, web 2.0 sounding name.