Percy Attacks David Wharton
"Percy Attacks" is a feature where I take on local bloggers for being out of line or too uppity or for engaging in behavior of which I generally disapprove. Today's target: David Wharton.
Local blogger and UNCG Classics professor, David Wharton, has published on his blog a letter from the presidents of the neighborhood associations of two local historic neighborhoods to the CEO and Chairman of Office Depot complaining about an ugly store sign situated at the entrance to their neighborhoods. I personally find the letter overly unctuous and ineffective. If the neighborhood associations want results they need to write like an activist hedge fund manager. I've taken the liberty of re-drafting their letter in the style of Daniel Loeb:
Bruce Nelson [Note from Percy: I believe Steve Odland is CEO and Chairman]
Chairman and Chief Executive Officer
Office Depot Corporate
2200 Old Germantown Road
Delray Beach, FL 33445
Dear Bruce [or Steve]:
When we originally acquired our Office Depot (the "Company") stake
last year we were aware of your reputation for extravagance, poor
judgment and your overall limitations as a manager. We went in with
"eyes wide open" regarding the Company's declining sales, eroding
margins and over-leveraged capital structure. It was our view,
however, that even a manager as flawed as yourself could implement
the basic "blocking and tackling" maneuvers required to build a
new Office Depot store.
Unfortunately, it was not until we saw the enormous Office Depot
sign at the entrance to our historic neighborhoods that we realized
the scope of your far reaching ineptitude. In a word the sign is
a debacle and conclusive evidence that you are clueless. I suspect
that most of the Company's shareholders don't realize that Office
Depot is rolling out humongous signs at the entrance to historic
neighborhoods. If the sign is not removed by the next shareholders'
meeting, you and the rest of the Board will have plenty of time to
work on your golf games in the Florida sunshine. We are,
Sincerely,
Betsey Baun
President of the Charles B. Aycock Neighborhood Association
David Shub
President of the Fisher Park Neighborhood Association
Only those who've read the comments can appreciate this, but thanks, Percy, for taking on Wharton, as the cabal encouraged. It was time someone showed him his poor research ability.
Dear Percy,
I found your rewrite to be amazing. I am currently in a dilemma with a local Office Depot in Lake Charles, Louisiana. It appears that the refund policy that is posted at every register is not the procedure that the employees have been instructed to follow. At least that is what the Assistant Manager, David Doyle, led me to believe. I made a purchase with an electronic withdrawal (check) which we all know is cash. The policy states that a cash sale will receive a cash refund. Five days later (within the 14 day requirement) I attempted top return my purchase. However I was told that I would need to leave my $1,083.72 computer purchase, along with my name and phone number, so the manager could investigate my purchase on Monday when he came in. I was told by the store manager, James Beason, that even if I did wait the 10 days before attempting a "check purchase" return that I would only get a cash refund if he "had the money." I called corporate and 800 numbers to no avail. Is there a direct contact number or e-mail address that you might know of? I have been searching (and posting) the internet.
A Sincere Thank You,
Anita M. Platt